For Chad

In highschool, I started a program called Banneker Brothers United (BBU). The name was derived from the name of the high school, Benjamin Banneker Academy, and we were all guys united and working together for a greater cause. It launched in 2005 in the school library. Our goal was simply to exceed at the highest levels while still being cool. In my experience, it was not cool to get good grades, and most college aspirations for my peers were linked to being recruited to play basketball. The reality for most of us was that collegiate basketball was not going to happen, so we needed to set a new tone that things like getting good grades and going to college was also cool.

The first year, my junior year, was special. We were able to partner with an elementary school in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn and help 4th graders with their homework after school.

The second year, my senior year, we turned our attention to the incoming freshman class. The principal of our school gave us permission to speak at the new student orientation. We shared one unified message with them; Our goal was to see them succeed and do better than we did. Over the course of that school year, we developed a solid bond with the younger guys.

During my time leading BBU, I met a young man named Chad. I was introduced to him because several of his teachers told me he could use some direction. He was a funny kid and sometimes his jokes got him into trouble. I met with him often and I would encourage him by saying, “there’s a time and a place for everything.”

He was very smart, he just chose to not show it all the time. We made very little progress by the time I graduated high school. He was still figuring it out for himself and the maturation process takes a long time.

I kept tabs on him as much as I could while I was in college. I remember being home for the summer and I was waiting for the B44 bus on Nostrand Avenue and Fulton Street to go home and I saw him. We talked for maybe 90 seconds. He left the conversation by saying, “Thank you for everything.” Chad was murdered not long after that day.

I think about Chad often. I don’t feel the burden of thoughts like ‘I could’ve saved him’, but I do feel sad when I think about him. I wonder what his life could have been had he survived the shooting. Unfortunately, for kids who grew up like Chad and I did, he is one of many who has been killed senselessly.

Becoming a dad has, for me, added another layer to Chad’s life and death. I wonder what must his parents be feeling, what was the last conversation they had with him, were they on good terms, what was that phone call like when they heard the news, what would they give to hear their son’s voice again?

Chad’s death is a tragedy on multiple fronts. Parents lost a son, Chad lost his life, and those that took his life have to live with the reality of their actions that day. The problem is too complex to believe justice is simply putting the people responsible in jail. While I agree that it’s part of it, true justice is seeing the people responsible for taking the lives of others restored to being healthy individuals. It won’t bring Chad or anyone else that was murdered back, but over time, I believe it will stop this vicious cycle.